Tuesday, March 22, 2011

An Alien Wakeup Call

It's time everyone woke up to the fact that aliens walk among us. It seems recently that individuals are coming forward with alien abduction tales having taken place at some point in their life, but not me. I caught on to that alien game early on. You see, I have cats.

Maybe many of you other cat owners know what I'm talking about. Cats are inventive tricksters. They love playing with human minds, and that characteristic combined with a very demanding ego can create havoc. One of their eccentricities is that at some early morning hour they boldly go where others would fear to tread. Mine usually approach just before dawn. Sometimes they let me know they're coming, but often they just magically appear standing on my chest, their nose nearly touching mine. Their message is clear: "I'm hungry and the food bowl is empty," or "I want out. Now."

So far it's not too bad. Anyone with kids or dogs knows about early morning demands. Cats take it a step further. When their human comes awake from the weight on his or her chest, perhaps the touch of a cold, damp nose, or the tickle of a whisker against the cheek, the first thing the human sees upon opening their eyes is ... an alien! Sometimes, just for fun, they play this game in the middle of the night, waking their person from REM state. All the person perceives is large eyes and small nostrils, not a recognizable being. Don't believe me? Check out these comparison photos of mug shot versus police suspect drawing.
Suspects in alien abduction

This is your cat playing with your brain while you remain in some hallucinatory dream state. I wonder how many of those reporting alien abductions owned a cat?


  1. I have a bumper sticker on my car:
    Buckle up, it makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car!
    Do you think the whole purring thing is a way of hypnotizing you?